NEW! Fall 2010: Like Sisters
Are you in a toxic friendship?
|BY DENISE STEWART|
When I was in the second grade, the guidance counselor came around to our classroom and taught us the difference between “Warm Fuzzies” and “Cold Pricklies.” She held up pictures. They existed. They had eyeballs. She talked like they were things people gave you. Things like a feeling. Feelings exchanged back and forth like gifts, like toys. Toys that could make you cry. We were to understand that there was not only a temperature to relationships, but also a texture. Good friends left you with heat in your cheeks. Heat and softness beside you, like a Smurf right out of the oven. During the counselor’s talks, Rhonda Miller used to sit behind me, sucking her thumb with her right hand and twisting my hair with her left. I loved it. She gave me warm fuzzies. Thirty years later, I think “cold prickly” is a simple but accurate way to talk about the ice of a toxic friendship, and about the sting. The cartoon drawing of the Cold Prickly looked just like you think—a big, dry brown burr with sharp hooks—just like what falls from the tree and pays you back for running around barefoot. In the interest of making more merry about friendship, more light from the dark, I asked myself some questions:
1. Have you ever been a toxic friend?
2. Anything else?
4. What’s your secret to keeping friends?
5. Sometimes the success of my friends makes me question everything in my life and it throws me into a Level One Funk. I just want to be happy for her. Why does this happen?
6.What’s the danger in never saying anything about what’s really bothering you?
7. My friends get upset with me because I’m busy all the time. Why don’t they understand that when I’m not available, I’m just not available?
8. Is there anything else you would like to add?
Denise Stewart is a local writer, actor and business lady who loves her screenwriting group and drinks with twists.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Please check out (click here) the new issue of C Mag, the fashion/style quarterly from the Cville Weekly.