|Stanback Hall, Catawba College, Halloween, 1992|
"I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know."
--Emerson, from "Friendship"
The word "blessed" is losing it's sacredness for me. People say it so often. So, I'll say that I'm damn lucky to have my friends. I know that I don't know all that I will know about women's friendships, but what I do know is that they seem more and more tied to my life's work.
5 Quiet Moments of Friendship
- yoga with Phoebe
- watching Ashley put on her wedding dress
- riding the train to NYC with Jennifer
- getting a pedicure with Amy
- the long drive to Maine with Sarah in her jeep
- my bachelorette party with penis straws
- a peace rally in DC
- a 1990 Counting Crows concert in a dirty basement in Charlotte
- Thursday nights at Catawba
- in the van after winning a tennis match
- when grandparents die
- when parents die
- when time flies
- when they can't ask for help
- when you can't ask for help
- when the babies come
- when you realize they are a badass
- when they know you well enough to pick on you
- when you make something together
- when you get to have a long talk after a long absence
- I think of Jenny, then the phone rings and it's her
- finding out Elaine was from Mooresville, too, and feeling like IT all made sense
- a psychic described to me Mrs. Mott (exactly!) and told me she was there to help me -- always
- seeing my friend's faces in their children
- figuring out that Toad the Wet Sprocket on the radio is always a sign from Carrie
If you have some woo-woo moments (inexplicable connections between you and a friend), I'd love to hear about them. I wish you quiet, loud, sad, happy, and weird moments with your friends, and I wish you the time to sort them (the moments AND the friends) out. Do yourself a favor: do not speak ill of other women, even those who are not your friends. They are some other women's friends.