Monday, November 26, 2012

Lazy Saturday Mornings

This short sketch was performed on Saturday, November 17 at Late Night at Live Arts.  I was lucky to have a fabulous cast:  Miller Murray Susen (Heidi), Jon Cobb (Chloe) and Jen Downey (Jenny).  It was directed by Mendy St. Ours (Tammy and Tina's legal guardian). 

Lazy Saturday Mornings
by DeeDee Stewart

Cast: Three ladies, Chloe, Heidi, and Jenny, in their 30s-40s

Scene: Saturday morning at a city market. Nanci Griffith’s song, “I Love This Town” is playing as the three women are shopping separately. They dance informally as if it’s a low-key 3-person flash mob.

Chloe: Heidi!

Heidi: (squeals) Shut the front door, Chloe! I totally had a vision last night that I would see you here.

Chloe: I love this sweater! (sweetly suspicious) Did you make this?

Heidi: Yes.

Chloe: It’s gorgeous. How long does one of those take you?

Heidi: I’m slow. Took me all evening. I started it as soon as I walked in the door, before I got the Cauliflower-Saffron soup started -- oh, have I sent you that?

Jenny walks up.

Jenny: This is why I love the market!

Heidi and Chloe hug her.

Chloe: No way. Heidi was just talking about Cauliflower-Saffron soup. Definitely email that to me.

Jenny: Yummm. Send it to me too, if that’s okay. 

Chloe: I’ll blog about it.

Heidi does it from her phone.

Jenny: Oh, I love your blog.

Chloe: I started a new one. I’m blogging about EACH email I get. Each one. 

Heidi: That’s huge!

Jenny: That’s awesome!

Heidi: Those donuts smell SO good. I’m starving.

Jenny: God, I wish. I’m off flour and sugar and cotton and plastic. Just until Syria calms down.

Chloe: (to Heidi) Are you still training?

Heidi: (groaning) Yes. I’m doing that 300 Mile Race Across the Desert for Glaucoma Awareness in Nevada next week.

Jenny: Did you read that article about how you can get glaucoma from just LOOKING at dyed flowers? Just looking.

Chloe: Insane. (to Heidi) Send me the information about the race. I’ll organize my neighbors and I’ll text all the elementary school parents in Virginia and I bet we could raise $100,000 before you fly out. 

Jenny: And I should get you this wax. For your lips. My mom orders it from Africa. It’s from the sweat off monkey’s balls. Um. It’s incredible.

Heidi: That would be tremendous you guys (pushing buttons on her phone). Okay. I just sent you all the info. There you go. (to Jenny) Where’s Claudia?

Jenny: (sighing, proudly) She’s in an emergency evacuation plan event-- it’s the new flash mob, you know-- since the hurricane -- her 4th grade class has been crazy with it. They’re practicing at UVA. 10 years-old and she’s carrying a 300 lb. bypass patient down 20 flights of stairs.

Chloe: Amazing. 

Jenny: Bill’s with her -- making a documentary. If he doesn’t take forever editing it -- perfectionist -- we’ll have it ready for the screening at the Paramount by tomorrow night. I hope you guys can stop by.

Heidi: I will definitely check that out. I’m going to chill tonight. Phil is redesigning the house -- we’re going minimalist -- so I’ll be on my own. I’m going to make 50 batches of dried tomato pesto.

Jenny: I love your dried tomato pesto. (to Chloe) Have you had her dried tomato pesto?

Chloe: Now I have to have it.

Heidi: I’ll bring you guys some!

Jenny and Chloe: No, no.

Heidi: It’s easy. After I re-roof the chicken coop, I’ll drop it off tonight.

Jenny: (wincing) Umm...

Heidi: Not in plastic, not in plastic! I’ll walk it over across town in my bare hands in the middle of the night and you can scrape it off into whatever container is best.

Jenny: Well, if it’s easy.

Chloe: You are awesome. 

Jenny: I’ll be up. I’ve been building a search engine to compete with Google -- every night until 3am -- I can barely get up in time to make those fucking organic veggie frittatas and--

Chloe: You know what, we push ourselves too hard.

Jenny: (huge sigh) I’m glad someone said it.

Heidi (bursting into tears): You’re right. I’m overwhelmed.

Chloe: I’m exhausted.

Jenny: It’s too much. Way too much.

Heidi: Why do we just keep pushing and pushing and pushing? It’s sick. I’m sick!

Chloe: Well, then all of our friends are sick, too.

Jenny: We’re not alone, that’s for sure.

Chloe: (totally fried) I can’t even take a shit without thinking of a new project!

Jenny: You know what...We should get everyone together to talk about the pressures of being a woman in such a driven, intellectual, multi-talented, organic-minded environment.

Chloe: Let’s keep it to 10 women. No, 250.

Heidi: I could send everyone invitations on paperless post. Hell, I’ll just make the paper myself.

Chloe: We could rent a barn for the weekend so everyone could just get away.

Jenny: Let’s build a barn!

Heidi: Perfect! I could get certified to teach yoga so I could host a yoga session. That would be really relaxing.

Jenny: I’ll build a sacred space in the barn for the yoga.

Chloe: And we have to have wine.

Jenny: Good wine!

Heidi: The best, most relaxing wine. To pick that out, let’s do a wine-tasting every Tuesday for the next 4 Tuesdays...”Tuesday Tastings at 4”.

Chloe: I can’t do 4.

Heidi: 5.

Jenny: I can do 5:04.

They all type it into their phones.

Chloe: Just let me email you guys, myself and my higher power.


Heidi: I’m SO glad we ran into each other.

Chloe: Me, too. I love these lazy Saturday mornings. Have you tried those coconut oil bars? They’re amazing...

Beginning to walk towards the coconut oil bars, they chat these last few lines as they’re walking away.

Jenny: (to Chloe) You smell wonderful by the way.

Chloe: Oh, I started my own essential oils line last month. 

Heidi: That’s so cool. I read it was time-consuming to extract all the oils.

Jenny: But totally worth it.

Chloe: So worth have to do it right...

“I Love This Town” comes up again...the ladies dance off.

To produce this 5 minute play or any other 10 minute play from this blog, just email me at

Monday, August 27, 2012

With One Show to Go

leaving the flat

With one show to go, there are many things on my mind, not the least of which is the question of whether my battery will last long enough to post this post since I forgot my power converter.  I'm sitting at the Black Cat Medicine Coffee Shop.  

view from the coffee shop
The sound of suitcases on cobblestones is everywhere.  It actually sounds like tap dancing -- how appropriate.  With 10,000 performers leaving the city over the past few days and many of us wrapping up today, and with the rain coming down right now, you can definitely sense the end.  It's so's not with a bang.  It does feel like a whimper. 

walking towards the Royal Mile
Right after the show today we'll pack up the Barbies and the bedding and the Smurfette t-shirt.  We've found a taker for the projector cradle, the cd/ipod player (that I bought for the outdoor performances), the stool and the inflatable bed.  I need to find a taker for my UK curling wand and this bottle of nail polish remover that I refuse to let spill out in my suitcase.  We'll dump all the posters in the recycling bin.  We'll say goodbye to the wonderful Assembly staff, take everything back to the flat and then we're done.  We're going out for good Indian food. 

the is a city of unlocked bikes and off-leash dogs
There are going to be so many things to miss about Edinburgh. Being a part of this festival is unlike anything I've ever done, and I am changed.  But, I would by lying if I didn't say I was ready to pack Dirty Barbie away for a little while.  I'd be lying if I didn't say I was really ready to go home. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

When the Opposite of Everything is True

Will Kerner and Mary Coy on The Royal Mile

When the opposite of everything is true, you know you're at the Fringe.
It was pouring down rain a minute ago, and now it is very clear and sunny.  Every time I start to think one thing, I think the total opposite is true.  The kind of polar feelings that could send you looking for fresh meds.  Advice is contradictory here....extremely...and yet, everyone is right.  The pace is unlivable and yet the sense of good living, big living, loud living is everywhere.  We are surely a nuisance to the locals and yet, they seem to enjoy us so much.  Here are some other examples of the extremes I've encountered...

1.  Everyone says be disciplined, keep to your routine, take care of yourself.  Everyone says go out to bars until 2 am, everyone says go with the flow.

2.  You can't help falling in love with other people's shows.  You have to stay in love with your own show. 

Yesterday, I fell in love with a show called FORMBY. 

3.  Stars mean nothing.  Stars mean everything.
I went to a workshop where an actor/producer said, "Stars are rubbish."  "We want to get rid of them.  Nobody reads the reviews.  They just look at the stars.  That's insane."  His posters are covered with stars.  Don't hate the playa.  Hate the reviewa.  Or love them.  In this world of over 2600 shows, the stars can guide you to what is great, maybe what you shouldn't miss.  The stars are coming from one person, though.  One gal, one bloke.  Maybe they're overexcited.  Maybe they don't know shit.  Maybe they know exactly what they're talking about.  Maybe you will use their quote to open many doors for you.  We've gotten three four-star reviews.  Hot damn.  Wait a second.  If you get excited and you feel like you're "buying in".  If you don't maximize that press, well, you're a lazy idiot.  Most recently, Ciara Knowles from THREE WEEKS said of my show "this is that rare play that many people can connect with, regardless of sex, or nationality."  Thanks, Ciara.  You just made the top of my little stick-on flyer update.  I have to say, I've been going to shows according to word of mouth.  That's why I went to FORMBY.  That's why I'm going to REMOR tonight. 

4.  Women are the best.  Men are the secret.
talking with a lady about the show, probably about Barbies
I have loved talking to women here about Barbie or Cindy (they are quite divided here on that subject...more on this later).  Or talking to them about Edinburgh or the Festival or storytelling or where they've been in the south (once they here my accent) or where I can get tape.  But, it's the men who always break the ice during the show and give people permission to laugh.  It's always a man.  I am grateful for them.  Seriously.

5.  There is never time to drink enough water.  There is always time for beer.

6.  Dirty Barbie actually likes to be clean. 
A surprising development.  I've been tidying.  Tidying at night.  This must be a universal balancing response to the number of messy artists with whom I am sharing a small square mileage of the universe right now.  I don't know if it will stick, but my underwear looks nice in the drawer.

7.  Today is my day off.  There are no days off. 
I did sleep in.  I am going to go to lunch with a friend and I will drink wine.  I can't wait to see REMOR tonight.  But, in the middle of all that, there will be postering and getting stickers on more flyers and checking in with the PR firm and writing back somebody.  I'll take a day off when I get home.

8.  I miss home.  This can't end.
It's true.  I miss my husband.  I miss my friends.  I miss my pets.  I miss getting to use my iphone where ever, when ever.  But just when you start to long for home for all of it to end, you find you are walking towards your venue and your makeup is in your bag, and there are 45 minutes to go before you load-in your show, and you think, oh shit...I'm in Edinburgh...doing my show.  It's incredible here, the people are incredible here.  I've done 18 shows, and there are only 6 shows left.  I haven't been inside any castles yet.  I gotta get on it.

I'll keep looking for opposites.  I'll probably keep believing both are true.  Like this:  I've never been more humbled by the work others are doing, but I've never felt more authority to keep creating.  

The Long Walk Home

Here are a couple of views from my walk home every day

Crossing the Meadows
As I write this, it is raining, but surprisingly for Edinburgh, and continuing with opposites being true, it has been very sunny this month.

The walk up through Marchmont to our flat

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Letter to My Producer on My Day Off

from UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY by Amy Lame at Assembly Theatre
This is a letter to Ray Nedzel, one of my producers for the Dirty Barbie Goes to Edinburgh endeavor.  He and my husband, Lance Stewart, were here for the first 8 days of the trip and they, along with Mary and me, cranked out some serious grunt work.  I can't say that the days are shorter or easier.  Every day here is a little different.  I'm getting lost less often, and we all have new friends. The work and the fun and the amazement loom over you equally, actually.  Sarah Noyes and Peter Coy arrived to help on August 7.  Will Kerner, also a producer, arrived yesterday.  Sarah will leave on Thursday.  I have an amazing team. 

Dear Ray,
We got a new coffee press.  I see that you must've told Will that our coffee-making equipment was in the toilet...I see that he packed gear.  He also reorganized our fridge upon arrival.  We now have a lovely coffee press and no one has been forced to use the strainer and the paper towels.  Peter and I agree that five level scoops does the trick.  Mary likes it stronger.  Sarah says she is off coffee, but she's been sneaking cappuccinos here and there.  She is not sneaky at all about the Strongbow, which she took to quickly.

Two big things happened on Sunday:  one the fire alarm went off during the middle of the show.  I was right in the middle of "Confessions of a Mean Girl" and I heard this noise which I thought was either someone's phone alarm and they needed to go take their medicine -- immediately -- or it was a fire alarm. I heard whispering outside the door and the Assembly ladies came in and quietly evacuated us all out to the street.  Turns out the smoke machine that they are doing in Mies Julie set off the fire alarm.  We all went back in and I picked up right where I left off.  I actually think it was an exciting icebreaker, but hope it wasn't the "most fun" moment for the audience.  Second thing:  I busted my ass coming out of Assembly Hall and rolled my ankle.  I blame the cobblestones...and you.  Remember that time we were eating taco salads in June and you told the story of the actor you knew who wasn't taking the best care of himself and then he turned his ankle?  That story has been on my mind since then and so, perhaps, it was only a matter of time until I bit it, perhaps it was a self-hex.  I shouldn't place those on myself.  It's not a bad accident as they go.  A very dignified Scottish man felt horribly for me and I know you will be disappointed to know that I missed that moment to convert his pity into a ticket.  Dammit!   

In addition to the ankle, I sure have signs of FOMO (fear of missing out).  Symptoms flare up (feels like someone grinding up my stomach to make a burger of my innards) every time I try to go to bed at a decent time and know that people are out seeing things and drinking and meeting and blah, blah, blah.  Also, I have noticed little bumps that I self-diagnose as NDE (not doing enough).  These really start itching when I see people hustling.  The pharmacy around the corner has nothing to help.

I've been doing my professional development as we planned.  I've attended both sessions hosted by Mark Fisher on making your show a success, and one about the media.  Both were very helpful. 

More networking...Promoter/Presenter Day at Fringe Central
I stumbled into this promoter/presenter session at Fringe Central and managed to talk to about 5 promoters who may be interested in thinking about how the show could move forward in London and other places.  The whole thing smacked of "Follow Up City", so I'm on it, Captain.

This is a picture of Sarah updating the flyers.  
Sarah in Fringe Central with her trusty paper cutter
It is wonderful to have her here and she's been helping in every capacity.  She and Mary went to see Baby Wants Candy last night and they loved it.  This is what we now have stapled to the outside of the flyers to update our press, and it REALLY helps in the conversation starting on the street:


“Stewart is vibrant…a master…reminiscent of a young Doris Day at times…the audience were laughing uproariously and clearly enchanted.”

Top 5 Pick for Edinburgh 2012 Festival Fringe –Daily Record

“Deeply poignant humour by an accomplished and endearing performer.” –Fest

“Stewart plunges into this autobiographical play with energy and verve…funny, poignant…there is no doubting the sincerity of this heartfelt material nor its raw emotional appeal.”       The Scotsman

“An empathetic presence radiating with joy” –The Huffington Post

“Impressive acting talent…the audience will enjoy this high-energy, emotionally-charged performance.” –STV

Pete and Mary are SO EXCELLENT at talking to people about the show.  They are flyering -in-motion, and our building audience numbers are greatly do to the quality work they are doing at REALLY talking to people about the show.  They have clout, you know, and are fully-clothed, which is quite a difference on the Royal Mile, and it reads even stronger than the Dirty Barbie t-shirts.  

As you can tell from the opening picture, we made it to Unhappy Birthday.  I think you would've liked it.  It's definitely the most interactive piece we've gone to and I ended up with red lipstick all over my face and I had to chase her around the room and later that night we found red lipstick around my ear.  Lots of Morrissey songs.  

D and Sarah at UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY...we were obviously not unhappy attendees
We are officially at the halfway mark.  We've completed 12 shows and we have 12 to go.  We are all looking forward to this day off, and yes, we're all going to see shows, shows, shows, starting with And the Girls in Their Sunday Dresses at Assembly.  I would list all the shows (I've seen 15 so far), but my wi-fi is making linking so difficult and slow that I will save that for another day and a stronger connection. 
Sarah will only be here through Thursday morning and I'm trying not to be sad about that as we will make the most of the next two days and I don't feel like being sad about anything yet.  Having said that, Saturday was my hardest day here.  I knew Lance was taking Ron to Catawba and I wished so badly to be there to drop off that precious cargo and to subject him to all my Catawba advice on the ride down there.  Maybe it's just as well that I wasn't there, but that didn't stop me from sobbing at Fringe Central while trying to email.  Oh boy....when major life events collide...I'm an empty-nester now.

The news from the show is that I think it's getting better.  I'm using these performances to crack open my storytelling. I feel much looser, more connected to the audience.  Women from Brazil and Sweden and Spain have loved the show -- there is no doubting that this is an incredible time.  Talking to older men from Scotland who laugh and laugh during the show has been the boost of a lifetime.   

News from the team is that you and Lance are missed.  That was such an incredibly busy and important 8 days that you were here and we invoke your name often (especially when I was drinking your last two cans of Scrappy Jack) and say, "Thanks, Ray!"  I hear you will be in rehearsal soon for Clybourne Park at Live Arts.  Congratulations. 

In addition to seeing shows, I am going to try and eat some fruits and vegetables today.  A little nutritional reboot before shows 13-24 wouldn't hurt. 

Your advice from afar is always welcome.  Write me back soon.  
Sorry so sloppy,
p.s. the Scottish actor who goes on right after me said that he's been eavesdropping a bit on my show and that I remind him of Truman Capote with my accent.  "It's haunting, isn't it?" he said. That's me....I'm a spooky (and short) little devil...

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Preview One: a good day at the Fringe

Ray says... Good day one preview.

Well, we were working the Royal Mile, papering the house a bit, when we got a phone call from the Press Office that the Scotsman (the top newspaper in Scotland) wanted to send a reviewer today.  Dee and I thought we should say yes, even though we hadn't had time for a run in tech (long repair on damaged projector -- damn you Air France.)

At bottom of page, another delightful surprise.  (fringe top tips)

And the show when great.  Dee Dee was a pro from day one.  And we were just over half full, including a man who graduated from UVA some 25 years ago (and his family).  So here's a bit of the excitement after a successful, out of the gates running, first preview:

Oh, so and then, someone on the street tells us that Dirty Barbie was a top pick of the Daily Record -- maybe the top pick. Read the article here: So, see it was a good day.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Dirty Barbie Preps for Tech

Dee Dee rolls into the her tech rehearsal pausing by at 1 meter tall picture of herself to take it all in and  welcome you to the Fringe and her wonderful home for the next month, Assembly Hall:

Saturday, July 28, 2012

1 Day to Edinburgh....finishing the list

Preparing for Airport Security

print boarding passes
weigh your big ass bag

Over a year ago, in a gesture of optimism (and probably procrastination), I added a feature to my Google homepage.  I added a little square that showed me a different picture from Edinburgh throughout the day.  Castles, girls dancing, big views. Just the act of doing that was supposed to help me GET to those places.  That's all kooked up, right?  Bananas, yea?  I also added one below it of New York City (that was from instant-cameras around the city, so those are more like shots of people crossing the street).    

I believe, as usual, that I have overpacked.  Right now, it ALL seems necessary.  Must get scale and see if bag is over 50 pounds. 

pack medicine
This morning, as there is nothing left but packing toiletries, making extra-love to the cat, and finishing this list before I set off on a month-long trip to perform my show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, I have to give those little scrolling shots a shout out.  I should be in Scotland by lunch tomorrow.  I plan to pop an Ambien somewhere in the air between Chicago and London.  Three weeks ago I was in New York with my play.  While clicking through that homepage earlier this week on the way to my gmail, I got a new email -- an invitation to go back to New York for three performances in October at an arts festival. Was it the scrolling shots?

fix hem on dress
download songs for show on iphone

buy bra
I bought a bra at Belks yesterday.  The saleslady exclaimed, "Oh!  This one fits like a glove!" I need a new bra, not a new glove, but SOLD.  I have developed the uncanny ability to work my trip into almost ANY conversation ("Yes, beans and rice, no peppers, yes sour cream, I'm going to Scotland, yes guac"), so as our transaction ended with how I needed to remember my Bra & Panty Club Card next time and bring my receipt and she would catch me up she asked if she could go with me to Scotland.  Like most people I talk to, she says she has ALWAYS wanted to go to Scotland.  What makes me so lucky?  What really good piece of advice do I have to make this happen?

Update Google homepage. 

call bank
I've called the bank to say I'm finally going somewhere interesting, so don't card block me when I try to buy haggis.  

I need to text my sister one more time while it's easy.  

do Tracy Anderson dvd
I was hoping to work out one more time.  I keep picturing Europeans seeing my flabby arms and saying, "Look, they don't even try." 

Straighten the basement
Screw it.  Right before a trip, there's always a certain amount of straightening I do.  A friend says she does this, too, so that she comes back to a neat house.  I do it in case I die.  I don't want my sister and mother-in-law and best friends to have a hard time finding things (like surfaces). 

thank Kate

On Thursday night, my friend, Kate, threw a Bon Voyage party for me.  During the evening, there were two "reverse striptease" performances by my friends that I will not soon forget.  When the whole crowd is chanting, "Put it on, Put it on", you know you're in a dirty place.  My friends came and they overpaid me for tshirts and helped me switch gears into full-on Dirty Barbie machine.  At this point, it's hard to express the level of gratitude I feel without ruining any street cred I have left, so I'll just say I'm a very lucky lady and I know it. 

Write a blogpost
Will write soon from Edinburgh!  xo, deedee

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Dirty Barbie Does DC...Again!

Elizabeth (Dirty Barbie's publicist) here again! I'm updating you on DeeDee's behalf as I suspect she's holed up in her adorable light-filled office, working with an exhaustion-fueled frenzy. Better yet, maybe she's sleeping. Girlfriend's been running hard.

Anyway, GOOD NEWS for every DeeDee-lover in DC. After an uber-successful NYC premier (check out this review and this review and let's all have a drink),  Dirty Barbie will pack her bags once again. She's headed to DC's The Corner Store for a two-day reprise of her childhood tales--her last performances before the Edinburgh Fringe!

The Corner Store, a nonprofit arts center on 9th and S. Carolina SE, hosted Dirty Barbie earlier this year.   They're totally jazzed to relive the baby dolls, Nutter Butters and tantrums with "a return engagement of this hilarious and fearless performer." 

The Venue which Cannot Get Enough
If you, like The Corner Store, can't get enough of the Dirty Barbie goodness, or if you just want to see the show Stateside, head to DC and buckle up for this one-hour wild ride. The show performs at this Saturday, July 21st at 8PM, and Sunday, July 22nd at 4PM. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door.

Hope to see you there!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dirty Barbie Does NYC!

Hey NYC readers! This is Elizabeth, Dirty Barbie's publicist, with the details of DeeDee's Big Apple performances. Her hilarious one-woman show opened last night, but you've still got time to catch it. Here's the scoop (and a sale!):

WHO: DysFUNctional Story Lovers in the Tri-State Area

WHAT: Four  Three Performances of Dirty Barbie & Other Girlhood Tales

WHERE: 59E59 Theater, located at 59 East 59th St (go figure) b/t Madison and Park Avenues

WHEN: Tonight, July 11 at 9PMThursday, July 12 at 9PMSaturday, July 14 at 9PM

WHY: Because Dirty Barbie is awesomeAlso for 59E59's East to Edinburgh festival, which features new shows en route to the Festival Fringe in August. 


MORE WORDS: A talkback will follow tonight's performance.

CHEAP BOOZE: 59E59's theater bar will offer a drink special tonight. Only $7 for their signature Aidatini!

BLOGGER BONUSTickets are normally $15 (a steal for a night out in the city), but we just received a special blogger discount code! If you're a blogger, you can get your ticket for just $10. Comment below or email me ( for details. 

See you at the show!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

59 More Shows to See

Guest post by Ray.

59 Shows to see?  OK not 59, but 16 shows to see at 59E59.

Dirty Barbie and other girlhood tales will make it's NY debut as part of the East to Edinburgh Festival at 59E59.

This is a great chance to see some wonderful shows in July, in NYC, each headed to the Edinburgh Fringe -- the world's largest theatre festival in August, in Scotland.

Here's the full details from 59E59 Theatres.

JUL 10 - JUL 29

59E59 Theaters presents

EAST TO EDINBURGH returns to 59E59 with sixteen new shows on their way to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe - catch them here, before they cross the pond!


In 1978, a mother, newly widowed, moved her family from the wide, open spaces of Wyoming to a tiny town in North Carolina. Spinning tales on scarlet fever, scotch over ice and girls gone wild, DeeDee Stewart puts the 'fun' back in dysfunctional.
  • $15 (59E59 MEMBERS $10.50) 
  • July 10, 11, 12, 14 at 9 

MICHAEL POPE IS GAY FOR PAY Pope's stranger than fiction tale of a mystery job in the Empire State Building and discovering himself to be the world's greatest phone sex operator - a rollercoaster ride of absurdity, obscenity and the true spiritual meaning of 'nothing left to lose'.$20 (59E59 MEMBERS $14) July 10, 11, 14 at 7
Buy tickets for MICHAEL POPE IS GAY FOR PAY here

LISTEN! THE RIVER A tough-talking cat, a one-eyed dog, a reluctant fiancé, his sexy betrothed and a bible-toting mother flow through this story of love, loss and new beginnings. $15 (59E59 MEMBERS $10.50) July 12, 13 at 7; July 15 at 4
Buy tickets for LISTEN! THE RIVER here

MADE FOR EACH OTHER What kind of man proposes marriage on the first date, and what kind of man says 'yes'? Gay marriage meets Alzheimer's in this uplifting and funny drama about sex, love, and the power of memory. $18 (59E59 MEMBERS $12.60) July 13, 27 at 9; July 15, 18 at 7
Buy tickets for MADE FOR EACH OTHER here

CAPTAIN FERGUSON'S SCHOOL FOR BALLOON WARFARE Inspired by true events surrounding WWI, this solo-performance chronicles the patriotism and misguided genius of U.S. Army Capt. Thomas Ferguson. $18 (59E59 MEMBERS $12.60) July 14 at 2; July 20 at 5

I HEART HAMAS: AND OTHER THINGS I'M AFRAID TO TELL YOU Join Jennifer on auditions, bad dates and across military checkpoints as she explores becoming Palestinian-ized, then politicized and eventually radicalized in this fresh, often funny, searingly honest show. $20 (59E59 MEMBERS $14) July 14 at 4; July 15 at 2

EAT $H*T: HOW OUR WASTE CAN SAVE THE WORLD The Puru plunges the depths of our constipated culture. Brown's the New Green in the show that's changing the world one flush at a time! $15 (59E59 MEMBERS $10.50) July 17 at 7; July 22 at 4

CLOONEY, COWELL, PITT AND ME: AMUSING ENCOUNTERS WITH THE A-LIST Ever wondered what the biggest stars in Hollywood are really like? Find out from the man who has met them all, in this rollicking one man show from leading British entertainment reporter Sandro Monetti. Watch the trailer here! $12 (59E59 MEMBERS $8.50) July 17, 18 at 9; July 21 at 2

DEAD MAN'S CELL PHONE A dead man! His ringing cell phone! Pulitzer Prize finalist Sarah Ruhl's Dead Man's Cell Phone takes up our mundane capacity to connect in a world a-twitter with technology. $15 (59E59 MEMBERS $10.50) July 19, 20 at 7; July 21 at 4
Buy tickets for DEAD MAN'S CELL PHONE here

DIRTY PAKI LINGERIE Sex, Religion, and Politics collide as six Pakistani-American Muslim females air their dirty lingerie... 'Breaks down stereotypes of Muslim women in America' - The Wall Street Journal $20 (59E59 MEMBERS $14) July 19, 20, 21 at 9
Buy tickets for DIRTY PAKI LINGERIE here

MOD Fab! Irreverent! Totally Groovy! Original musical rocks 59E59 Theaters. Inspired by the British pop of the early 1960s. Teen angst set against the backdrop of the Beatles' invasion of America. $20 (59E59 MEMBERS $14) July 21, 22, 26, 27, 28, 29 at 7
 Buy tickets for MOD here

A MAN FOR ALL TIMES: W.E.B. DU BOIS Martin Luther King. Remembered. Revered. W.E.B. Du Bois, a major Civil Rights Activist, largely forgotten. Pulse Theatre remedies this with this inspiring drama. $20 (59E59 MEMBERS $14) July 22 at 2; July 24, 25 at 7
Buy tickets for A MAN FOR ALL TIMES: W.E.B. DU BOIS here

TENDERPITS From the creators of FringeNYC 2009 Outstanding Solo Show Art's Heart, Tenderpits is the incredible 100% half-true story of a young wizard's immigration from the wilderness of Canada to New York City. $18 (59E59 MEMBERS $12.60) July 24, 25, 26 at 9
Buy tickets for TENDERPITS here

DEATH BOOGIE Death Boogie is a multimedia Hip Hop Poetry Musical that follows the fictional story of Victor Spartan, a blue collar worker who lives a comatose lifestyle by day and at night, hears the poetic sounds of revolution. $12 (59E59 MEMBERS $8.50) July 28 at 2
Buy tickets for DEATH BOOGIE here

VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE Inspired by a study showing that hallucinogenic mushrooms can effectively treat obsessive compulsive disorder, award-winning standup Adam Strauss embarked on a program of vigilante psychopharmacology. $12 (59E59 MEMBERS $8.50) July 28, 29 at 4 Buy tickets for  

VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE here 3 BY POE Three superb horror stories with a common theme - revenge! Cask of Amontillado and Tell Tale Heart are performed by the murderers; Hop-Frog, by Poe himself. $12 (59E59 MEMBERS $8.50) July 28 at 9; July 29 at 2
Buy tickets for 3 BY POE here

Buy Tickets for Selected Show
$12.00 (59E59 MEMBERS $8.50)
$15.00 (59E59 MEMBERS $10.50)$18.00 (59E59 MEMBERS $12.60)$20.00 (59E59 MEMBERS $14.00)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Dirty Barbie t-shirts

Welcome to Dirty Barbie's t-shirt shop! 

Many of you have asked me..."Where can I get a t-shirt?" Well, now I can help you.  My inventory is made up of two kinds of t-shirts:

1.  Brand new white, feminine short-sleeve t-shirts.  I have these in small, medium and large.  They are 98% cotton and 2% spandex, so they hold up very well through multiple washings and they are form-fitting (yes...vavavoom).

2.  Second-hand one-of-a-kind shirts.  These have been very popular.  Two more sold today to my friends.  Once these are gone they are gone, because I only have one of each kind that I hand-picked locally (yes, kind-of like a tomato).

Here, in this video, I walk you through my inventory:

I've tried to set this up so that you can buy them online and then I can ship it to you or figure out a way to pick it up if you live in Charlottesville.  Please email me at if you have ANY problems or questions. 

Other shirts