Friday, March 1, 2013

8 Writing Prompts Inspired by My Eggs (and my day)

Need a break from not writing?  Tip:  Walk around the cottage where you rent and take pictures of it for your blog!

It's been a quiet day to contemplate a comeback.   A comeback to my blog, I mean.  I plan to write on it all the time...then I don't.  I've found this common in blogging circles, but knowing this doesn't help (the disappointment).  I write harsh journal entries about how my life emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually would greatly improve if I wrote on my blog regularly.  That's probably too much to expect from a blog, but it's not too much to expect from writing. If you're like me, it's nice occasionally to have a writing prompt.  Since I could not think of what to write on my blog today for my fabulous comeback, the fabulous comeback will have to wait.  Instead, I came up with writing prompts (inspired by my day) that other people might feel so motivated that they could just...write... 

1.  Free write for 20 minutes about how you are a worthless sack of shit.  If cats fighting outside your window at 4:30 a.m. freezes your writing, breathe in their violence and then use it in your work.  Stay with it! 

2.  Pretend you are in a cycle class and all the booty songs are bothering you.  Pretend that's funny because they never bothered you before.  Then, write honestly (do not lie) about whether you like big butts.  Decide whether or not you make Sir Mix-a-Lot horny.  Decide that you'd like to kick some nasty thoughts.  Try to remember that scene from UNCLE BUCK when "Wild Thing" is playing.  Suddenly connect your desire to cycle to more U2 songs to the fact that you are turning 40 soon.  Make it VERY interesting -- the connection, I mean. 

2.  Write an action sequence about a woman buying cat food and cold rotisserie chicken at Kroger at 9:30 a.m.   

3.  There is a way of cooking eggs so that they are good and there is a way of cooking eggs so that they are slimy and nasty and need to be buried under the spring greens and avocado.  Write a recipe card to a bridal shower with very clear instructions on how not to undercook eggs.  Maybe don't write it in the negative, but don't not make your point.  Use your stamping collection to make it look real pretty. 

4.  Prepare a short but friendly lecture on how actors/writers should call people back in a timely fashion (make sure to point out that a week and a half is not a timely fashion).  Give it a happy ending by giving the needy actor the work anyway.  

5.  Writing exercise in non-writing (plan accordingly because this one could take 2 hours) :  stop writing for a moment and see how many cashews you can chew at one time.  Then watch the cop car sitting outside.  Count up how many cop cars you've seen that day and contemplate if that is a sign for you.  A bad sign?  Get irritated at the dogs barking.  Take a phone call.  Watch the couple moving furniture across the street and wonder if they are fighting.  Try to guess how heavy that dresser is.  Write back to a text.  Go outside and look for the cat that doesn't belong to you in case he wants you to hold him (just for a moment).  Come back in and make yourself a cup of tea.  Eat three blackberries.  Brush your teeth to prevent staining.  Sit back down to write.  Pop up again to look for some lotion for your dry hands.  Check your email.  Take this quiz to see how long you'll live.  Daydream (worry) about what you're supposed to do between living healthily to 78.2 and your expected death at 92.  Maybe you'll write books then. 

6.  Imagine you are coaching someone about weight loss.  Ask them all the right questions (for example:  ask them if they'd like for you to make them a badge to wear that says "Lil' Asskicker").  

7.  Make a list of all the calamities that you regret.  Imagine what a good screenplay that would make.  Kind-of sketch out the plot in your mind.  Go ahead and cast it, but DON'T WRITE ANYTHING.  You may think of a better idea tomorrow.  

8. Pretend you are an actor who just got a casting notice for a Pizza Hut commercial.  Think back to the time you worked at Pizza Hut and how you used to smell at the end of every shift.  Try to recall all the details...maybe throw in a Nigerian dishwasher who loves to say your name every time you walk by him.  Make it like a fantasy story of getting the part and getting paid buttloads of money.  Put in obstacles to making any of the fantasy come true like scandals and flat tires.  Make it believable. 

Hope these help!  You're welcome!  Happy writing!